let’s try this again~ “redeemed”

okay. so take 2. i posted this yesterday and at some point my website was hacked.  after speaking to my host provider i heard that wordpress has been hit a large amount this week. now, over 24 hours later i’m hoping i’m back up and running smoothly after “being restored” . unfortunately the restore took out my last couple posts and a large amount of work/images i had laboriously added to my portfolio. sadly,  i had received some of THE sweetest, most tender comments on this post & the one prior and now they’re all lost. thank you hacker.  i cruised through reader & did a quick little copy/paste and planted this one back up again.anyways….enough complaining….enjoy….

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me”son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet

Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

 i’ll be honest, the past week or so has been a tough time for me spiritually.

i’d share the details of the recurrent situation but it’s not really important to the story. suffice to say,  it’s a big huge chapter in my little book of issues where i can allow fear to literally eat me alive.

”I’m not who i used to be, cause i am redeemed”

i believe this is true. but sometimes my mind, my spirit & my heart don’t all line up in a neat little marching row and allow me to act as a believer of this promise should act.

we all have consequences for our sins. or for this particular situation, i’ll use the word “decisions”. that’s a less in- your- face term. so, we all have consequences for our decisions. both good & bad decisions. however, i think for those of us who have tangible consequences that are repetitive or ongoing, trying to move on past those sins of the past, or poor decisions is almost impossible. well that’s the situation for me. it’s as if i have an ongoing reminder of a poor decision from years ago. just fear and shame and ugliness always rises to the surface when i think about the situation.

it’s easy for me to accept jesus loves me. primarily because i have a loving earthly father & married two loving men, i don’t doubt His love. jesus came that we may have life & a full life. free from bondage, free from chains that bind us up. chains like shame and regret. chains like fear and worry. that’s where i struggle.

i sometimes wonder if i will always need to make the, sometimes daily, choice to lay these issues down. it’s honestly a reminder to me that i’m not all that. i’m in need of grace. every single day. there’s a place in my heart that only Jesus can fill. that’s honestly how we were made. i believe, anyway.

several times this week, as i would lay my head down at night i felt He would impress on my heart the following~~ don’t be afraid,  i have redeemed you. i have called you by name. you’re mine. i’ll never leave you. i’ve healed you. your sins are forgiven & i’ve removed all of them ( poor decisions too) as far apart as the east is from the west. they are remembered no more. now rise up & forgive yourself. and rest in me.

i heard that in my heart night after night.

furthermore, as corny as it may seem, during the dolphin show at the Georgia Aquarium, there was a part in the show where a large magnificent image up on the screen ( yes it was related to the dolphins, okay?) said confidently and loudly, “fear not”.  tears just spilled down my cheeks. it was another reminder, amidst dozens all week long, to lay down the fear. ( and yes, the dolphins were brave too)

so, back to the song. to hear the words  “I’m not who i used to be, cause i am redeemed” is a balm to my soul.

i encourage you to push play on the video ( after you X out the little ad along the bottom). close your eyes and let these lyrics marinate in your heart. let the truth that you are a new person in christ just flow through your spirit like a river.  because He has already paid the price for all of it. and it’s wiped away, as far as the east is from the west. we’re the ones that choose to tote our past around. when i carry around all the yuck or “stupid me” or the regret or the whatever it’s as if i’m saying the cross wasn’t enough.

“child lift up your head”, He loves you & He’s not through with you yet. now i’m off to do the same. i am redeemed. He’s set me free & He’s not through with me yet.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/redeemed/id515814055?i=515814062

scriptures above from isaiah 43, psalm 103.12, & john 10.10.

April 18, 2013 - 10:21 pm

Jamie - Amen sweetest friend! Isn’t it amazing that a stronghold of sin if given sway over your life can lead only to death & destruction…but that same stronghold if laid at the feet of our Savior (sometimes time and frustrating time again) He turns into a closer,more intimate relationship with Him. Thanks for your precious thoughts & for sharing our unbelievable savior! Xoxo

April 18, 2013 - 10:24 pm

Sibi - I’m not who I used to be. Cause I am redeemed. Thank God redeemed.

This.

One of my all time favorite songs. Ever.

Love you and your beautiful heart precious friend.

Dreaming about the day we can all be in our favorite place together.

Soon.

Love you so,

Sibi

April 19, 2013 - 6:43 am

houston, we have a problem » simple thoughts - […] to view last post, go here […]

April 19, 2013 - 7:27 am

Renee Ford - You really have absolutely no idea how much I needed to read that this morning. I love that song, it’s life changing. Thank you for always being authentic and sharing your heart.

April 19, 2013 - 7:34 am

sheri - So sorry your site was hacked! Geez – don’t people have anything better to do. This was a great post – read it yesterday and again just now – maybe I needed it twice. Love you sweet friend. xo

April 19, 2013 - 8:11 am

Flower Patch Farmgirl - Loveliest!! Thanks for this, P.

April 19, 2013 - 9:01 am

Kimberly Falls - Thanks so much for sharing this….it is a daily struggle for me also. I read something this week that said fear is an intangible cage and on Good Friday Jesus got in that cage for me and on Sunday He busted out of the cage destroying the bars. I really have to think about that daily!
Thank you for sharing so honestly!
Kimberly Falls

April 19, 2013 - 9:47 am

Keely - So sorry you got hacked. It’s such a God-thing that your post is centered on this song…it’s been in my head all week and I find myself humming it in every silence. I do think you are “all that” (at least it appears so from my little corner of Texas) and I am sorry for your struggles. Know that you are loved and prayed for by someone who’s never met you!

April 19, 2013 - 11:07 am

Karen McGee - This song is what I have adopted as the theme song of my life. Satan so often hits the “play” button on the slide-show of what I term the “non-Kodak moments of my life.” God has let me know that I can unplug that with His power! Thanks for your honest revelations that lives that look picture perfect and people who are photogenic have inner struggles too!

April 19, 2013 - 11:59 am

edie - Oh, Paige-y. I’m so sorry for your hacking troubles. My site has been hacked so much, I need to create a welcome page for the hackers. I found more evidence of ‘compromise’ this past weekend and am still trying to clean up the mess. I hope you are able to recover anything lost. It’s so disheartening. Love you and thinking of you lots these days.
xoxo,
edie

April 19, 2013 - 2:05 pm

Kellie - That’s awful somebody hacked you! This is such a beautiful post it just needed to be put out twice! The funny thing is that I made an usually personal comment about myself and had kind of fretted about it. Now come to find out it was gone anyway. Still loving that song…need to put it on my phone!

April 19, 2013 - 5:47 pm

Rob inane - Amazing song. Thanks for the reminder I often forget. Praise God, I am Redeemed!

April 20, 2013 - 4:16 pm

jodi - I am so sorry for your site getting hacked. That would make me so mad! :(

What a beautiful post and a beautiful song; I listened to it several times.

thinking of you! xo…jodi

September 11, 2013 - 6:47 am

mercy & grace » simple thoughts from Paige Knudsen Photography - […] while ago i posted about one of my all time favorite songs, redeemed by big daddy weave. i love the healing power that music […]