my three youngest daughters start back to school wednesday.
madison is actually duel-enrolling this year, which means she’s taking language arts at the high school and then all other classes at a local college. next year at this time, she’ll enter college as a freshman but with a sophmore status due to the credits she will have learned.
emily will be a junior & is beyond fired up excited because she has “great classes” with “all” her friends. “even lunch“.
caroline- who i am starting to wonder if i can even refer to as “little bit” because her legs are five feet long and sometimes at just the right angle she looks like she’s closer to 15 than 11-will head to 7th grade. and while most of us would never refer to middle school as being our favorite season of life, she’s got a great group of friends and her cheerful-all-the-time disposition will carry her far.
savannah is knee deep in rush week over at UGA. we moved her into a house-a house for crying out loud-this weekend. she’s loving life and i couldn’t imagine her any happier.
so am i ready for school to start? and i ready for school to start back, with it’s busy schedule and early to bed? with it’s homework and projects and deadlines? and with its long hours?
nope. no way jose. not a chance. no.
i’ll try to sum it up for you in one sentence. or as close to one sentence as possible.
i’m not ready for school to start back because the ages my girls are right now are the ages where they’re gone enough as it is…and i wanna be with them and i truly enjoy being with them.
one’s in college. two have jobs. three have cars. one has a boyfriend. they’re gone enough as it is. so waking up early and bustling around to get ready for school….and then being gone all day….followed by coming home or heading to a job….followed by homework and business….just makes them gone even more.
i love time together with my girls, who are growing up and piercing their nose & renting homes faster than you can say “let’s save money for 4 weddings”…and i value, higher than any other calling on my life, how i am raising them up….
so shift gears with me for a second…
i’ve been blogging for, i don’t know, 5 or 6 years? i’ve been so fortunate that the amount of snarky comments i’ve received i can count on one hand. and honestly except for the reader that told me i should send the money i would spend on vacationing in the gulf i should just donate to the businesses in the gulf during the oil spill, i’ve forgotten them.
i think if you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time you know i basically am an open book. i chose to come sit here and open this little lap top, log into my wordpress and journal my thoughts. i’m not a life coach, i don’t have any advanced degrees, i’m clearly not a specialist in psychology or finance, and i can’t tell you who the leader of Zimbabwe is. which is exactly why i named my blog Simple Thoughts. i come here & share my heart. i share my failures. i share my new shoes. i share my girls accomplishments. i share my weaknesses and my fears. for crying out loud, i practically share my bra size & how many carbs i eat on any given day. i share simple thoughts. are they right or wrong? are they the “all” of every story-ummm no.
so when i received a comment, not an email sent in private, but a comment from a reader who pointed out an area she “was bothered” with how i handled it or shared it or spoke it or whatever and that she “can’t help but wonder about whether or not you are doing a disservice to your daughters” and “mind you I really don’t mean this to be offensive, but I really can’t help but wonder what the message is you are sending to your girls?” i really was indeed offended.
you see, to call me out on my personal blog, the majority of which is just me opening the book of my life and sharing, and accuse me of doing something that is a disservice to my children is nothing short of offensive and clearly a personal attack for a blogger what i would consider “in public”. a low blow. not because i think i’m perfect but because i have shared through this blog, that i am anything but perfect.
and the principle that she was “bothered” with really isn’t the issue to me.
i think i’m an encouraging person. i’m usually aware enough of the log in my own eye that calling out the log in the eye of someone else is something i would hope i would not do. to a veritable stranger no less.
what bothered me is this. i love my girls and i love my husband, but i love jesus more. and i love jesus because i am so unworthy of his love yet he gives it regardless. i know i’m a sinner. a sinner with a past and poor choices and inability to make wise financial choices. he loves me inspite of myself. he loves me with my history and baggage and bad decisions. he loves me despite the fact that when i got really angry while we were on vacation i said every single cuss word i know ( only to dan, not towards dan. but still). he loves me regardless of if i wear designer shoes or whether i laddled soup at the homeless shelter today. he loves me whether i made a hot breakfast for my family or recited psalm 119. and because he loves me and gave his life for me and all my sins and failures and poor decisions, i would never want to be a stumbling block (which is basically how i took the aforementioned comment) to anyone because of myself.especially my daughters.
does that make sense?
so i don’t want them to go back to school because i’d rather live out my days worry free on the gulf coast eating shrimp and drinking mango margaritas and dreaming of a trip to africa with my favorite people right beside me. tanned of course. no car repairs and failing air conditioners. no cancer or sickness. no unexpected bills. no worries. i want to die in my sleep side by side with my husband when we’re like 100 years old or something like that. i don’t want to color my roots or have pap smears and mammograms. i want to sing along with chris tomlin & need to breathe and pretend my voice sounds like christy nockels. i want all my girls and all my future grandbabies to know that love of jesus that never fails and will never leave us. and will i get it right all the time? heavens no. seldom, is more like it. but i hope that my girls know i’m only human and if they remember that, and keep their eyes on jesus & his life and what his word says, we’ll all have a happy ending.
the end. & now i need to go buy school supplies…
(all images shot in Alys Beach)