expensive time

decision making can be somewhat larger than life for me.
i weigh all the potential variables
i think through possible outcomes
i try to be responsible
yet leave room for surprises too.
i’m a realist 
and a dreamer.
i’m introspective
& extroverted.
i’m practical
yet so often in life, i love the impractical.
(please feel free to diagnose me with a personality disorder at this point)
for several months i’ve felt that i should resign from my current rn position at the children’s hospital.
( significant decline in hours & other boring details)
years ago i went to school to take care of children with cancer.
that was my passion.
i thrived within the challenge of meeting the medical needs of those children
along with the emotional needs of both them & their families.
once gregg became sick, i left that job to stay home and take care of him.
i did return for a small time but found it very hard to work in a high acuity situation for the 
small amount of time i was actually available.
what i’ve done for the last 10 years isn’t a passion of mine
but it was still in nursing.
( & for those of you who’ve asked, after being out of the clinical world for so many years,
it’s virtually impossible to go back, much less be hired)
since that time i’ve developed a couple other passions.
things i would love to immerse myself in
& maybe even make some money at the same time.
last week i really spent some time soul searching
trying to make some big decisions.
i obviously highly respect my sweet husband
& i also highly respect my younger brother corey,
who happens to be president of his company.
both corey & dan gave me the exact same advice.
i laughingly asked my brother if he & dan had been secretly texting.
one of the things corey told me
is that the most expensive time in business
is the time between when you decide to do something
& when you actually do it.
the expense may not always be financial
it may even be mental energy spent.
while the above statement was regarding the business world,
i feel this principle applies to many areas in our lives.
i resigned from my current rn job.
i’m praying the Lord gives me direction on where to next.
for those of you who receive a paycheck for doing what you consider
your passion &your joy,
i know you consider yourself blessed.
my dream is to one day, do the very same thing…

November 2, 2011 - 12:23 pm

traci - good luck to you. now you can put all your thoughts and energy into photography. i know that's your passion. xo!!

November 2, 2011 - 12:25 pm

Kerri - Paige, you truly have so many talents! Just from getting to know you through your blog, I know what these are! I will be praying for you! I have had a similar journey/experience trying to make money from things I am passionate about. Recently, due to mostly financial circumstances, the Lord has led me back to teaching, but I feel it is the right thing~for now~because I am in a Catholic School so I know the Lord is with me.

Have a blessed day!


November 2, 2011 - 12:30 pm

Debby - Sometimes you just have to “trust.” You have many talents and with your sweet personality you will soon find what you are looking for. Good luck.

November 2, 2011 - 12:44 pm

Between You and Me - praying for you, paige!
I know that God will lead you…and as you wait, he will teach you and grow you….

hoping it's photography for you!!

November 2, 2011 - 12:44 pm

Allison - So. Proud. Of. You:) Praying that the Lord leads you right to where He wants you to be. You have so many gifts and can't wait to see how He will use them!

November 2, 2011 - 12:50 pm

The BirdHouse - NOOOOOooooo!!! No No No No No!!!!! I know you'll be successful in anything you do, but I can't imagine not seeing your face at staff meetings anymore! How could you be so selfish and not think about what you're doing to ME??

November 2, 2011 - 1:14 pm

Jboo - Good luck! I am certain you will excel at whatever you decide. Am having somewhat similar issues myself and wringing my hands a lot lately — oy! You'll do wonderful — no worries!

Your little girl is growing up and looking more and more beautiful each day!
Have a good WEdnesday!

November 2, 2011 - 1:27 pm

Deborah - Blessings on your new journey. I know photophraphy is one of your gifts and hopefully you're interested in possibly having an Etsy site to sell some your flower prints (love them). I know exactly what your going through. I too have decided to resign after 20 years at a job that has always be a great place to work. I got it when I became a single mom of 4 and kept it even after I remarried because they were always very flexible with my hours so that I could be involved when my kids were young. The problem is that it was always a job (which I know was a blessing to have) but never a passion. I'll be deciding what my passion or passions are and will be beginning my own business in the next 4 to 5 months. Hope you'll share your trials and tribulatons. You'll blaze the trail.

November 2, 2011 - 2:12 pm

Just Ask Beth - trust in the LORD with all your heart..

November 2, 2011 - 2:19 pm

Alecia - Way to go, Paige!!! I can't WAIT to see where the Lord takes you…He knows your heart & passions better than ANYONE…way to take the leap of faith. I know you will be GREAT at whatever you decide to do 🙂 (secretly hoping it's photography!)

November 2, 2011 - 2:26 pm

Simply Jen - Oh Paige! I commend your courage! I know the “in-between” time can be hard, but honestly, you have what it takes girl! I truly hope your talented eye brings you joy, fulfillment, and peace. You are such a gifted photographer, and I KNOW you will thrive and succeed above and beyond in that arena! Your photographs are just beautiful!! Praying for you. Sending luck and a hug.
Jen xo

November 2, 2011 - 2:47 pm

Tiffini Kilgore - oh Paige I truly understand on some level what your going through. I pray for our Father to open your eyes to the burning bush that is there for you..for you to step into your calling, purpose and dream.
take it from a friend who has left familiar..there will be those giants but always know He has all you need..in Jesus name
Now go..xo

November 2, 2011 - 2:57 pm

Anonymous - Think of it this way- you've taken the first step to getting that paycheck for doing something for which you have a true passion. The first step is always the hardest!

November 2, 2011 - 4:25 pm

Lindsey - Congrats on the courage to step out in faith! Praying big prayers for you, Paige! May God give you the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.

November 2, 2011 - 4:38 pm

Lolo @ The Adventures of Stig and Lolo - Congrats my dear for having courage and faith….I know your passion will create amazing things!!

November 2, 2011 - 5:44 pm

Kim - Well… it's about time you put your gift of photography into the professional realm!! I'm so excited for you and those who book you – -what a gift to receive a great photo of someone you adore!!

If we were closer, I'd hire you RIGHT NOW to shoot my Christmas card photos, and my sweet pre-teen girl, and my dog and my boys, and……

November 2, 2011 - 6:19 pm

Jill - Good for you Paige! Your timing on this post is interesting – after almost 14 years of being a SAHM, I just this week accepted a 20 hour position doing what I did in my “previous life” – taking a baby-step back into the professional world is thrilling and terrifying all at the same time! Isn't it a blessing for us to have these “choices”, with the support of loving children and spouses. All the best to you as you pursue your passions!

November 2, 2011 - 6:29 pm

Kelli - Good for you! You absolutely took the right steps in leaning on Him for guidance and with that you can't go wrong. I'm excited to see what all is in store for you 🙂

November 2, 2011 - 6:30 pm

my2twins - Good for you! Follow your dream! I had left my job in the medical field after 21 years to be home with my family. It was a blessing to be able to be home for our children. Now I'm at the point of trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Best of luck to you with your adventure.

November 2, 2011 - 6:44 pm

Lulu and Co. - Whatever new journey life take you on I wish you the very best! You are so talented…follow your passions and you will do great.

November 2, 2011 - 9:10 pm

Raining Pearls - So proud of you Paige! You took a big girl leap and are trusting Him… I know that you are going to flouirsh at your next endeavor. Big hugs xoxo

November 2, 2011 - 9:38 pm

Susan R - paige, although it might not be easy, i feel like this is a good decision for you. i really feel like you have a talent for so many things and you know i've said, “if you decide to give up the nursing, you definitely have a talent with that camera”.
you are going to do great things my friend and i think He lead you in the right direction.
prayers coming your way.

November 3, 2011 - 1:15 am

Farmgirl Paints - You know what's weird is that before I even read this post I was thinking that it seems really weird for you to be a nurse. I swear. I just see you as a photographer period. I hope that's what you are going to do because you will succeed. I have no doubt. Big giant be brave hug to ya.

November 3, 2011 - 2:54 am

Anonymous - you=photographer….

November 3, 2011 - 3:43 am

CHH - Blessings, Paige!

November 3, 2011 - 3:47 am

My Vintage Studio - Good luck on your new journey. Your photography is amazing! Now try to relax little prior to making that final decision. God bless!

November 3, 2011 - 11:06 am

Anonymous - You've taken a brave step!I believe if you use your talents for God's glory he will bless beyond measure…so go get em!!!


November 3, 2011 - 11:38 am

Christan - One of the best pieces of advice was given to me five years ago by our young assistant pastor's wife – “Just because something is a very good thing in itself doesn't mean it is what God has ordained for YOU to do.”

I have gone back to these words time and time again, praying God would make things fall off my calendar when I've over-committed by taking on “good things” to which God was never calling me.

Congrats on listening to Him. I can't wait to see what He reveals to you.

Hugs through cyberspace,

November 3, 2011 - 4:21 pm

Jillian, Inc - God Speed to you! You can do it! If you can't figure out the big picture just keep taking the next kittle step, and then the next…..

November 4, 2011 - 10:35 am

Jen Kershner - I'm sure this time feels a bit scary to you but I think it's so exciting! I love change. As long as it's my idea. 😉

November 4, 2011 - 2:24 pm

Lemon Lane Cottage - Good for you Paige. It is so difficult to know when the right time to take that step of faith is. For those whose family depends on their sole income the time may come much later but God will provide the opportunity for them to use their talents. For me it took 25 years in a civil service job. I look happily forward to a (very) small pension check this spring but none the less, the chance to find my passion. It is both scary and exhilirating. I pray you find it, too. Blessings, Patty

November 6, 2011 - 3:17 am

Pamela - Good for you Paige! No need to worry, God already has a plan for you. I will pray he leads you to where you are suppose to be very soon. Patience doesn't come easy. You have taken the first step though. That's usually the hardest one. Hang in there!

November 7, 2011 - 2:56 am

Jodi - Paige, I am playing catch up here! I wish you great blessings in your new adventure! You will do fabulous and you will be so happy, because this is your passion and you are good at it! I am sure at first it's scary, because change is scary, but with your faith and support you will be fine!

Congratulations, Paige!!!
ps…I love the photos of Caroline, beautiful colors on her!


November 9, 2011 - 5:45 pm

erin - Sometimes the hardest part of change is just setting it in motion. You are past that part now. Congrats on starting your new chapter!