i can not come down

IMG_72174:55 am. not my preferred wake up time. i laid there and in no time my mind was playing over & over again the stressful thoughts & fearfulness regarding some current & upcoming issues. looking at the ceiling, i roll my eyes and think seriously? stupid fear. stupid worry. followed quickly by the feelings of have i seriously not got this down yet? have i not learned?

i knew i needed to reroute my thoughts this morning. somedays like today it’s almost an all day battle. so me & a couple miles worked it out & i wanted to share a little what’s on my heart after my run.

i’m currently studying the book of nehemiah. we’re walking through it at church & i’m doing the study over at she reads truth as well.

so basically nehemiah is a prophet in the old testament. he’s living in persia when he hears that the wall around his hometown has been broken down. the government is a wreck. his people are living shattered and in misery & poverty. he heads down & rallies the town to start rebuilding the wall. along the way he, naturally, meets opposition. & you wanna know what he does? i love it. to the ones that try to distract him, he understood what & why he was doing what he was doing ( wall building) and didn’t lose sight of the greatness of what he was doing….he came back with  ” i’m doing a great work & can not come down”.

to those that said untrue things about him, he didn’t get into a debate or even defend himself. he just keeps on moving forward.

to the attack of deceit & lies, he listens to the one that called him in the first place. he didn’t listen to the voice of the enemy. when the lord speaks to us, it inspires faith. when it’s the voice of the enemy, it’s fear.

at the root of each attack against nehemiah was fear. wanna know the most common command in scripture? “fear not”.

so today. when once again that old ugly voice creeps into my thoughts at 4:55, 6;02, 7:33, lunch time, while i’m doing laundry, while i’m trying to do what the lord has currently called me to do, i pray that i too can keep on keeping on. that i can say ” i’m doing a great work & can not come down”. i don’t have time to wrestle around with what if’s, i don’t want to waste my mental energy on fear. i have other things to do. you have other things to do. build our wall. whatever it is, wherever he’s placed us, that is where we rally those around us. they could ages 5, 8 & 10 and home all summer. they could be 19 & heading out to college. they could be a team you’re planting a church with or a group of young mamas needing encouragement. don’t come on down off your wall. you’re doing a great work.

one last thing & i’ll let you go, i dusted off a devotional of mine today & opened to a random day. and sure ‘nuf, guess what it had to say….”your mind so easily slips into the future, where worries abound. you also spend too much time analyzing the past. meanwhile, splendors of the present moment parade before you and you don’t even notice. part of your problem is your tendency to strive for self sufficiency. i will help you learn to rest in MY sufficiency depending more & more on me”.

so let’s focus on the parade in front of us my friends & finish building the wall!

 

psalm 34.5 those who look to him are radiant. their faces are never covered with shame.

2 corinthians 12.9 my grace is sufficient for you, therefore my power is made perfect in weakness. therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that christ’s power may rest on me!

bam!

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May 27, 2014 - 1:50 pm

keri - fear can be so paralyzing for me. i’m grateful for your honesty and encouragement sister! xo

May 27, 2014 - 2:36 pm

Dori - Wonderful post!!

May 27, 2014 - 3:27 pm

Suzanne - I think the real test
for many of us is to
first find our wall —
whatever that may
be — and then stick
with the building of
it, one brick at a time…..

Wishing you a peaceful
slumber tonight, Paige!

xo Suzanne

May 27, 2014 - 3:28 pm

Shelley - Thank you. I needed that message today. What a blessing your words are! Have a wonderful day!

May 27, 2014 - 3:44 pm

giosmama2626 - Oh Paige— I REALLY needed to read this today. It’s almost too perfect. I just found out that I’m 5 weeks pregnant and living in a fear of the “what if’s” and “what COULD go wrong” all because I’m now from when I had my son, a dear friend of mine just passed away one day after giving birth, and I was told by doctors (after having my son 10 years ago) that my body couldn’t endure another pregnancy. I worry so much about all these things that I’m taking away from the happiness and excitement of actually being pregnant. I have no control of what CAN happen. All I can do is just pray and pray some more. Talk to God and have faith. I have a wonderful husband and awesome son. I have SO much to live for right now. The baby needs me strong so it can grow inside my time. I need not stress and reading this today has truly helped me put peace and comfort into my heart and mind.
I hope whatever struggles your mind is faced with all fade away SOON. Working out is the BEST medicine for that. Keep it up. And thank you again for being YOU! Blessing us each and every day!

May 27, 2014 - 4:39 pm

Beverly - Paige,
This is so timely…my husband, Art Costello, just today had his book released! In it he talks about how we look at things through one of two lenses which are faith or fear. I think this is exactly what you were talking about in your post today. I am glad you are seeing through the faith lens today and getting rid of that fear (enemy).

Oh, I almost forgot! His book is called Expectation Therapy by Art Costello.

Beverly

May 27, 2014 - 5:51 pm

Kathy - Well, this sure is timely. I, too am reading the Nehemiah study. I just love it and say thanks to you for introducing it to me! And, I, too was up at 4:55 am, filled with worry and concern for one of our sons. I am training myself to bring it to God, and rely on Him. And kick fear to the curb. However, I am far from perfect and goodness, fear sure does creep in. I appreciate your honesty and your witness. Today, you were so spot on in my life it was divine!

May 27, 2014 - 8:00 pm

Lemonade Makin Mama - well said Paige. I hate fear… I have been battling it more this year than ever before and I feel like I’ve been asked to be brave so many times which requires the beating back of FEAR. So hard sometimes.

May 27, 2014 - 8:52 pm

Ruth - I’m with Sasha on this one. This year has definitely brought up more fears for me than I think all of the 35 years preceding it. Thanks so much for this post! My tendency to lean on self sufficiency is strong right now. When will I learn that will never sustain me?! I want my default to be to lean into Him. I think I’ll go read Nehemiah tonight.

May 27, 2014 - 10:11 pm

wynne - amen sister. keep telling that truth to yourself! we have to preach the gospel to ourselves every day!

May 28, 2014 - 1:32 pm

McCall - I love this so so much, Paige. Thanks for speaking truth to yourself and sharing it with the rest of us.

May 28, 2014 - 5:17 pm

Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride - Oh Paige. I love this so much. Thank you for sharing! xoxo

May 29, 2014 - 10:45 pm

Barbara - This is such a great post – can feel the emotions!

May 31, 2014 - 8:22 am

Jo - This is going to be a little long, but I hope it means something. I just read this today – May 31. I pulled out my devotional – Jesus Calling. The first couple sentences are “The peace that I give you transcends your intellect. When most of your mental energy goes into efforts to figure things out, you are unable to receive this glorious gift….My peace hovers over you searching for a place to land.”

Three years ago my husband passed away, after an 80 day battle with cancer. We live on a hobby farm, and that first summer I was overwhelmed with things going wrong. It doesn’t matter now what they were, but I was not only consumed with grief but also with what was going on here and how was I going to take care of everything. Seriously, it was dragging me down.

At church on one particular Sunday, our pastor told the story which I’m sure you have heard, about the old Indian who was telling his little grandson how he didn’t feel well. The boy asked why and the grampa said he had two wolves fighting inside him. One was everything good and one was everything evil. The boy asked which one would win. The old Indian replied, “The one that you feed.”

That was like a lightening bolt from God straight to my heart. The one that you feed. I realized I had been feeding the wrong wolf. For me, those five words changed my life. I stopped worrying about things right then and there and my life has been pretty wonderful since. After church that day, one of my husband’s friends came up to me and said he wanted me to start a list because he was coming out to help me. I had never said a word to him about how I was feeling. What I learned that day is God will ALWAYS take care of us in His way and His time frame. All we need to do is ask for help, and then give Him our thanks. I do, every day. God provides and is there always.

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