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i had just walked in the door after a long shift at the hospital. i worked full time as an rn on a very stressful, pediatric oncology floor. had probably even worked a couple twelve hour shifts the days prior. so, i walk in the door, probably somewhat emotionally and physically beat & my hubby informs me we have friends coming for dinner within what i’m certain must have been 7 minutes.
let me explain. it was 1992. i was like 25. there was no such mantra as “it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful“. there was no nester posting time & time again that my not-yet-vacuumed carpets would not be the deal breaker for the three couples heading over at any moment to hang out & enjoy being together.
i broke out into a full body sweat. i was not happy at all with said newlywed hubby, who -did i mention, was a full blown extrovert always wanting to entertain. always. i remember standing in the entry way that day in my scrubs and him telling me not to worry- that he’d do all the cooking and no one would notice if the floors were vacuumed or not ( oh. okay. right)
i was such a goob. a professional type A wacko. i could not get past not having “things” perfect. things like mopping & vacuuming & whateverelse i was so flustered about. could not get past it. meanwhile i’ve got stud grill boy offering to whip up dinner. i shoulda grabbed a bottle glass of wine & plopped down, in my scrubs, on the back porch and enjoyed life. enjoyed that we had super cute fun couples heading over and my man was going to cook.
what was wrong with me?
let me tell you. not much has changed. while i sit here at 6pm in the evening, with pajamas on and dog hair on my hardwoods, i still struggle with things needing to be perfect. and the funny thing is…my attitude is what coulda shoulda been my focus. not my friggin floors. my attitude of –“welcome! ya’ll c’mon in! kick your shoes off or better yet, plop ’em up there on my coffee table & grab a beer”-is what i’m certain anyone would have remembered. not whether or not i had vertical stripes up & down my carpeted floors. and you wanna know what else. perfect vertical stripes on carpet floors when folks come over to visit is actually perhaps a tad …ummmm…stand offish. like who wants to feel like they’re messing something up? geez.
add it to the list of things i’d tell my 25 year old self.
i’ve been a humongous fan of nester for several years. i fell super hard for my friend when she blogged about her compassion trip to tanzania. i’ll share more about that soon. nester represents the newer, ever-freeing group of entertainers who’s focus is the people not perfectly lined vacuumed floors. now i’ll insert here–there’s nothing wrong at all with keeping things clean. but when the focus that i had was all about the stupid floors, not my friends and certainly not about my letslovepeoplewellwithgoodfood hubby that’s when it’s all out of whack. but i love this generation of women that continue to rise up and encourage us to be present not perfect.
today myquillyn’s new book releases and i have to tell you, you’re gonna love it!!! it’s beautiful & funny & practical & inspiring. of course it is! i just know you’re gonna fall in love with her freeing philosophy and the fact that she couldn’t care less about perfectly striped carpet!
so~~~~~
we’re giving away TWO copies today!! just leave me a comment!
Jamie - I would so love to win this. At 51 I still fight everything looking perfect…letting go and enjoying!
Kendra Schmitz - As a young woman, I struggle with perfectionism and the need to live in this way. I ask God often to bless my heart with an understanding of how to live a wonderful life without feeling a pull towards perfect.
Alyce - Yup….that’s me… I think I am actually worse now that I’m older. My kids are older and are responsible. So….everyone should be pitching in at all times, right…and there should not be any disorder, right? HA!!
I’d very much love a copy!
Jennifer - As you described yourself I thought, thank goodness I’m not the only one! I struggle everyday with having my house look perfect, even when I’m the only one home!
Heidi - I would love this! This is my mantra, one I constantly have to remind myself of!
Brooke Jones - Would LOVE it!
Karen - Like you paige I have struggled with similar ideas. But as I get older the Holy Spirit has changed my heart to focus on the people! Nothing makes me happier than having a full house full of life! Our noonday night was such a blessing. Would love to win this to give to some younger women who still struggle with the idea of perfection.
Whitney sigler - Oh how I would love this book. I still panic when friends or famly stop or are over. Is this right or does it look good enough.
Maeghan Cranford - I’ve been so interested in this book & I noticed the one line on her blog that summed up why I want it: “For the renter who believes she can’t create beauty where she is.” Looks incredible!
Linsey @ Bravehearted Beauty - You’re making me think this would be a great wedding gift or bridal shower gift! Looks like I’ll need to order a few!
Shannon - Oh man, the book arrived yesterday and I finished it before bed. It is amazing!! I’ve read her for years but really needed the concentrated reminder that “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” You all are going to LOVE it.
Deborah - Thanks for the awesome opportunity. Would love to win but this is one I plan on getting several copies for (my girls and a few friends). This is a lesson that I apparently need to relearn time and time again. Have a great day Paige.
chasity - looks so inspiring!
i am thankful that the years have helped me let go of perfection at least a little bit 🙂
life is so much more enjoyable that way.
Gwyn Rosser - Wise words I wish I had heard (and took to heart) 42 years ago when I was a newlywed. Many tears and heartaches, not to mention hissy fits, could have been saved
Ginny - I love the Nester been following her blog for quite some time. I have her book on the top of my Amazon wish list if I don’t win it here.
Theresa in Nebraska - Wow! Great giveaway!
Amanda R - I would just LOVE to win a copy of this book! I am so glad I’ve found blogs like The Nest and Simple Thoughts. As a perfectionist in recovery I am working every day to embrace the “it doesn’t’ have to be perfect to be beautiful” lifestyle. Finding the beauty in joy in life as it is instead of waiting until things are “just-so” is my new mission. I hope to cultivate a home for my family that embraces life and celebrates living wholeheartedly. Cheers!
Beth M - I’ve been so excited about this book! I actually had a dream last night I was sitting next to Nester on a bus explaining why I hadn’t bought her book yet!
Caroline - This book sounds amazing! Would love to win!
Melissa S - Your post gave me chills, because I’ve been constantly striving for grace and not perfection for a few years now. And it’s so hard for me! I have to continually remind myself that His mercies are new everyday. This book looks amazing!
jennifer - I would love to win a copy of Nester’s book. We shouldn’t try to be perfectionist, but it is a struggle.
Elizabeth - Ohhh, I’ve been fiercely wanting this book! But so far I’ve resisted with respect to my budget (sadly, yay me!) Can’t wait to see who the lucky ladies are!
Megan G - Been reading the Nester’s blog for awhile and would love to win a copy of her book!
Kitty - I love Nester! I am so thrilled about her new book. It has taken me a long time (27 years of married life), but I am FINALLY starting to relax a bit when entertaining. We had hubby’s new boss over for dinner on Sunday – I didn’t clean the floors or ANYTHING before he arrived. We just enjoyed a beautiful afternoon on the screened porch. What a treat! {baby steps…for me}
Kate - I keep hearing about this book. I would love to win a copy! Having 2 littles at home, I need to learn that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!
Charla Balogh - Sounds great! Would love to win!!
JIll - I could have written this post as I too STILL find myself striving for perfection, however, a wonderful thing about maturing and getting {ahem} older means that perspective finds us and along with what really matters. Hopefully our precious daughters can learn from us.
xo~Jill
Lexi - I so needed to hear this today.
Michelle - Oh Paige, this is me in every aspect of my life. It is exhausting! Even when my children want to invite friends over I find myself scrambling to make everything perfect and memorable. Sadly, at times I have even said no to children coming over to play or spend the night because I didn’t like the current state of my home, more specifically her messy room. My daughter summed it up best by saying, “They don’t care. They are just kids.” That really sunk in with me. Now I try to compromise. Instead of perfect let’s just say it is presentable. Have a lovely day.
PS) I love your cute little disco ball bookmark
susie - I too have been a long follower of Nester’s blog and would love to win her book. Thanks for hosting such a fabulous giveaway!!
Denise D - I have to re-learn that lesson daily! Looks like a great book !
Shera - The Nesting Place was the first blog I ever read…with 3 young kids at home and another on the way, her “it doesn’t have to be perfect” mantra was exactly the encouragement I needed. Now, I try to pass along that same idea to other young mommas…focus on the people and not perfection.
Thank you, Paige for this reminder today. So grateful for your constant words of wisdom as your girls are just ahead of mine!
Wanda A. - So that is totally me in a nutshell. I just discovered Nester from your blog last week. I almost cried when I read her blog and learned about her new book. Hubby and I are getting ready to move to Columbus, GA and I’m having a hard time finding what I consider to be the “perfect” house… when I saw that “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!” it really gave me a boost and something to hang on to! I would love, love to have the book!
Karen - Oh do I wish I knew younger, what I now know!
Susie - Would love this book – I am kinda, sorta a control freak who thinks all things need to be perfect before company is coming – trying to change that BIG time! Love your blog and little family.
Michelle L. - Busted. Vacuum lines, dustless baseboards, spotless countertops…..eek, I’m so guilty. Would love to read this book, Paige. Hope you’re day is great and the weather forecast improves. 🙂
Erika W. - Congrats on the release! I would love to win a copy!
Karen S. - Oh ~ I am the same way. I always want things to look perfect for guests. I wish I could let it go…..I cannot wait to dive into this book. Thanks for the chance.
Sherry Cress - Love her blog and I’m sure I would love her book!
Suzen - Thank you for sharing. I also struggle ~ I hope someday to learn to relax and want to entertain more.
Christie C. - Would LOVE to win a copy of the book, and I can completely relate to your post. As an extreme introvert, entertaining {especially on such short notice!} completely stresses me out, even with the wonderful knowledge that people like the nester share. I’m trying hard to learn to let go though.
Stacey - I so need to let go of trying for perfection.
Susan W - I’ve always heard a clean house is a sign of boredom (to some extent) and I decided as long as I was comfortable and presentable when I go out into the public world then I could be forgiven for folded clothes needing to be put away or dust bunnies or dog hair clearly visible (white jack russell hair) on my dark wood floors! I love the fact of everything has its place and I am trying to cleanse like you did with your house Paige, But Rome wasn’t built in a day! Having personal life issues put things on hold until they were resolved for almost 6 years didn’t help matters! I moved from a bigger house and didn’t realize I had accumulate so much until the next house was smaller so alot is still in boxes stashed away and I will realize once I go through them I really didn’t need it after all if I wasn’t missing it, right?! Wanting to downsize yet just a little more I will be de-cluttering a little bit at a time so as not to be overwhelmed! I am a work still very much in progress!
Dawn Gahan - This book couldn’t come along at a better time for me. Thanks for such a perfectly timely giveaway!
April Upjohn - With two small children I’m working hard on the “it doesn’t have to be perfect” house and enjoy my time with them.
Kelly - I cannot wait to read this!!
Yolanda McLean - I have a small group that meets at my house every other week and I am always fretting because I don’t have time to clean – ugh I’m getting better but I need help.
Christine - I would love this. I really suffer with this…my best friend is all perfectly striped carpet and I’m, well I’m not. But I feel pressure when she’s around. I’m working on that.
Karen - So glad to know I’m not the only one who struggles with this! I’d love to win…thanks for the chance!
Allison - Great post Paige! Looking forward to reading Nester’s book.
Alecia - Thanks for keepin’ it real…I’ve struggled with the same thing however I’m the person that’s up until 2-3 am to ensure everything is perfect then I’m an exhausted mess once the company leaves. I’m a major extrovert that struggles with perfectionism so I’m like a combo of you & Gregg…I love to cook & entertain friends and I absolutely enjoy every minute of it but I wear myself out in preparation. Whew! All that to say…I’m PUMPED about the book…good luck to everyone!
Mary Glenn - I am soo guilty as well Paige. Have heard many wonderful things about this book and would love a chance to read it!
Kim - I would love to have a copy if this book! As someone who is living in a remodel, I am daily struggling with the “it doesn’t need to be perfect” mentality!
Michele L - Love, love, love this message. And I didn’t even notice that the slipcover on her chair isn’t perfect until she pointed it out in todays post.
Camille - With age comes a little wisdom…I wish as a younger wife and mom I would have realized that “it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!!!”
Stephanie Kallay - Love the Nester….love the concept…trying to put it into practice 🙂 Would love to win this book!
Colleen - Hi Paige,
I would love to win the book because I struggle with perfectionism and a little OCD in decorating. The reminder that it doesn’t have to be perfect gives me freedom to not desire flawlessness.
Sue H. - She was one of the first bloggers I started following as well. So excited to read her book as I too suffer from perfectionism (although not as bad as I used to).
sharon - I think I need this book….now!!!!
Cabogirl - I’d love a copy of this book! And yours too….when are you going to write one?!?
Kelsey - Would love a copy!!
Shannon - She was one of the first blogs I read–so excited for this book!
Andrea - I would love to read this book!!
Natalie - Umm… yes please! You’ve seen me in full-on panic mode… clearly I need this! And quite possibly a support group for those of that still can’t get “IDHTBPTBB” through our thick heads!!! 😉
Kelly Vann - I would LOVE to have this book! 🙂
Heidi - I too struggle w/making things perfect. After surviving stage 3 ovarian cancer I learned that life is too short to worry about making things “perfect”. While I love entertaining and decorating, I remind myself that my friends are coming over so we can spend time w/each other. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still try to make things beautiful 🙂 I just don’t sweat the small stuff anymore.
Denise Thompson - I know I would LOVE reading this book…
Rachel - I completely embrace this lifestyle and the calm that it brings! Love it~
chrissi - i am looking forward to reading this book. i am a huge nester fan and am loving their new adventure on the farm. house crush. i think this would be a great add on to those shower gifts i need this summer♥
Marlene Kocher - Love the concept. Unfortunate I am one of the grannie’s who have never learned just to relax and enjoy guests. Eager to read this book and follow her blog. Thanks Paige.Love your honesty.
Shannon - I can totally relate! Would LOVE to have her book!!!!
Nina - i would LOVE to win this book! 🙂
Pam - This is in my Amazon cart as we speak. Waiting until I have the extra $$ to purchase. Would love to win a copy! I love Nester!
Lisa - I’m having my first Noonday party this weekend, and yeah – I’m stressing about the house! I need to give this book a good read whether I win one or not! This reminder hit me where it matters. Thank you for inspiring!
Jackie - Enjoy life and love people well…words of wisdom for sure! So excited to see Nester’s book–thanks for the opprtunity to WIN it! 🙂
Jen - Great giveaway. Yours were two of the first blogs I ever started reading.
kim - Oh boy does my Type A self need something like this 🙂
Polly Walters - i would love to win this book…i am still struggling with my type a personality…
Caroline - Would love another good read and especially from Nester!!
Meg - Though I am by no means a Type A perfectionist, I struggle with feeling anxious or inadequate when comparing myself to others. I love hosting guests and am much better about letting the little things go but I desperately want others’ approval or validation that my home, my food, my clothes, etc…are “good enough”. I think I need to read this book!
Jen@thecottagenest - I’m much better than I used to be living in an old house that always seems to be in the middle of a project in a village where there is often someone stopping by unannounced. I’m better but I still have a ways to go. Can’t wait to see her book!
Nancy - I am the exact same way! Though I am so good at dispensing advice to others to “just let it go”, I have a hard time myself!
Sounds like a great book!
Debra Rice - I would love to win this book!! I often times find myself in that same panic mode over my things/house/kitchen and forget that we are here to love and grow, not seem perfect!! Can’t wait to read this!
Jami - I can totally relate to your story, Paige, and I get so frustrated with myself (also a sign of Type A, I guess – haha!). Anyway, would love to win! Super cute bookmark, too – very happy!
Sarah - I can’t wait to read this book!
LuAnn - Love, love, love the nester! She is my kind of girl….now just need to follow her wisdom and stop caring about perfection!
Anna H. - Sounds like a GREAT book! My sister introduced me to her blog and I’d love to read more!
Sandy - Would love to read this book and I still suffer from perfectionism with company. Made worse now that the sons are married and I try to be perfect for family when they are here too.
emily - I’m hoping her book will help me better deal with some of the “less than perfect” that is in my life right now. And I love that disco ball bookmark – how fun!
Kristin - I am behind on finding the nester’s blog, but it is definitely something I need to add to my blog lineup! Her book looks amazing and anything that helps take out the stress and reminds you what is important is something I want to read!
Kimberly Falls - I need this book! I so struggle with this issue! I have a hard time hanging things on the wall because I don’t want to make a mistake! Winning this book would be great because I just had to make several deposits for my son’s college!
Thanks so much!
katie - Paige-
Thank you for introducing us to this fabulous book! I am trying to save money, but I read the “look inside” portion on Amazon and it is #1 on my wish list! As a young woman with champagne taste, and a beer budget… I think this book will help out a lot! God bless!
Julie - Pick me! Went to local big chain bookstore today just to purchase this book and they didn’t have it in stock – insert sad face here.
Deb Peters - Im a big fan of the Nester. One of my regular reads.Im an avid reader and would love her book on my shelf
Marta - I love her philosophy too and would love a copy of this book! Thanks for the chance!
Kathy - I would love to be chosen. So many things I would tell my 25 year old self…. The book sounds wonderful.
Marsha - Just love your blog soo much:) The book is on my wish list, would love to win!
Michelle Hamilton - This books sounds like wonderful therapy. I would love to win it! I keep signing up for more and more so that I can’t be perfect because I’m too tired. Just acknowledging and accepting imperfection seems so much more sane!
wynne - um yes, this book is for sure on my list! love everything i’ve heard about it so far! i’m all into not being perfect 🙂
marcie - This past year has been a lesson in embracing what is important- people not things, enjoying the moment and what is, not what people see on FB, not trying to portray a picture perfect life on social media and embracing the messes, imperfections and realities of everyday life. This book looks like a great read and would be an amazing way to spend a rare spare moment with a cup of hot tea. Joy is not in perfect decor, clean houses, or over the top parties – it’s in being with the people you care about and being healthy and thankful in the everyday “moment” . Embracing imperfection is perfect!! It’s hard to remember because I can so relate to your above post about company and floors, etc. but I am trying to embrace being wholly, fully present and the joy of loved ones. Yay Nester!! that’s what I say!
M
amanda - Thanks for the chance to have a book that I actually need.
michele m fry - Love her philosphy and her attitude!! Perfectionism is the highest form of self abuse!!!
Julie M - I would love a copy!
Jennifer Malcom - I would love to win a copy! Thanks for the opportunity!!
Katie - Nester was the first ever blog I started following! That grew into others like Jones Design and Life in Grace, yours and on and on (and I love how you are all real life friends). I have a whole different take on design because of all of you. Thanks! Still working on the whole “idhtbptbb” thing though–maybe a copy of the book will help! Fingers crossed!
kimberly kukla - I battle daily with “perfect.” When will I ever learn?! I’m 58! I really need this book! Ha!
jennifer - I would love to have a copy of this book. Thanks for the give-away!
Suzie - With three little ones running around, I love the freedom in not needing to be perfect!
patty - well let me just tell ya… if you ever head back this way, i would love for you to stop by my [much]less than perfectly kept home. i do have a wicked back porch and i fake an awesome lemonade… we could leave the dog hair and carpet stripes inside. 😉
Julie in TN - This is on my “must read” for summer list. Funny thing: I can be welcoming with my personality and my spirit- but I still struggle with my physical house- Whatttt Doesss this Meannnn?
I think it means I need to read this book!
Christine - Would love a copy- I have followed her blog for awhile and I can appreciate her approach immensely.
lacey - thank you! I needed to read your words TODAY and would love to savor her book!
Julie - Love this concept and would love to win. Thanks!
texasaggiemom - Amen! Hospitality is not my strong suit and my perfectionism makes it even harder. Nester’s philosophy is so freeing! Thank you for the giveaway!
Veronica - I would love a copy, mothers day coming this would be a great gift.
Jane - Oh gosh I think I need to read this book – I know I have been reluctant to host people knowing that my house is not well presented. My mum has the ability to keep her house ‘showroom ready’ at all times, so it’s something that bothers me. Thanks so much for sharing.
Lola - I would love to win a copy!! This my favorite qoute “it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful” 🙂
Aileen - I would love to win this! I love the nester too! Letting go of perfection and being ok with it is a work in progress in me.
Donna - Oh the things we would tell our “25” year old self these days. This book is all over the blogisphere…. is that even a word 😉 I am so intrigued to read it. BTW, Paige, I love your blog!
Pat F. - Oh Paige…….that sounds like such a page out of my younger life. If only we knew then what we know now. Would love to have this book.
Deanna Hunt - Would love to win!!!!
Pam - I LOVE the nester. Would be so happy to win a copy of this book!
Kathleen - I can’t wait to read this.
Pam - How do we get the downloadable prints?
martha - hello from Franklin! Happy midweek, Paige!
would LOVE to win a copy of this BOOK!
Am ordering 2 for my married girls but would love one for MOI!
Lauri Wood - We all need to learn to ‘let it go” and enjoy the moment!
Joy G - If Nester’s book is half as great as her website, it will be a wonderful book! Can’t wait to read it-and lovely photos, Paige!
Lori - Would love the book! Thanks!
Barb Van Eps - Wow! Great post- just what I needed today as I had a neighbor bring her decorator over unannounced asking if I could show her my kitchen. Me in my pajamas, with two foster kiddos in theirs, laundry and dishes all over the kitchen. 🙂
Meredith Abramowski - I would love to win!
Nanc - I can’t remember how I found your blog, but I have been following you for a long time. I love how you express all your thoughts and feelings. You have a special gift for writing.
I would love to win the book.
Jen Lewis - Gosh…I need this read! In a new (old) house…with a to-do list a mile long…I’m in what I call, “a welcome to our home” standstill…all because things are not “just so”…and they won’t be for a while. But this is our home. My home. My hubby’s home. My boys’ home. My doggie’s home.
And I hope to get to a place where I feel comfortable enough to open my door any time and let all who walk through it feel comfortable and welcome.
Fingers…and toes crossed…hoping I’m lucky enough to win Nester’s book. She’s such a delight!
Thanks Paige!
Jen