the driveway is full again

i guess maybe it was this way when they were younger.

maybe?

were they all so different?  one was very independent. solid if you will. yet a strong heart too.  one didn’t speak much. she depended on her older sissy to say what needed to be said. one always happy and carrying things with her. sippy cup, doll baby and a purse were never far away.one a pleaser. one a little bit more of a renegade.

yet they each always woke on the right side of the bed. each maternal and loving to play with ones littler than themselves.

today they cruise in & out of my studio as i work. one plops on the chair and talks about jesus. one cruises by and tells me about things at school that’s she’s so excited about. one comes in , sits on the stool closeby and chatters and chatters.  one’s upstairs watching Modern Family with her computer in her lap. older sissy yells out, “i don’t think you should invest your time in Modern Family. surely you can find something a little more appropriate”.  “yeah” i chime in, “like maybe Anne of Green Gables. get to know that Anne Shirley”.  older sissy grumbles, “that’s not exactly what i had in mind”. one’s downstairs snuggled up on the sofa watching Toy Story.  she’s old enough to drive yet clearly has chosen Toy Story. “to infinity and beyond”.

i walk from room to room. one’s at a boys’ home hanging out with him. i smile to myself.  i thought i’d dread these years. well- meaning friends would say “just you wait” while smirking as i walked by with smocked dressed little ones, mary janes loosely strapped and hair bows. big hair bows.  well, i didn’t have to wait. it happened over night.  i now ride shot gun while they drive. i listen to stories about boys and what the Lord’s showing them about “eternal investments”.  i feel a little knot well up in my throat.  reminded of so many times where i know i’ve failed them. i think i was a funner mom, maybe a better mom, when they were wearing the big hair bows and smocked dresses. i think it was easier then.  now they wear my boots and borrow my jewelry. and i marvel at who they’re becoming. despite myself and my failures.

we pull in from caroline’s dance recital. the drive way is full again. sigh. & i’m thankful….

November 20, 2012 - 11:37 am

Rebecca - Beautifully said Paige. I am feeling the same way as mine are getting older. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

November 20, 2012 - 11:50 am

Shannon - I’m so glad you were the first post I pulled up to read this morning, loved this Paige. A good reminder to enjoy each moment, it’s already going to fast for me. I hope you and your lovely family have an amazing Thanksgiving!

November 20, 2012 - 11:58 am

deb - Yes, aren’t these times getting to be rewarding and yet bittersweet? Our 18 yr old son, still living at home while going to college here in town at an IU extension as he works at least 30 hours a week too. He helps with driving and shuttling the younger kids to and fro. Our 15 yr old daughter, becoming a young lady, hanging with her boyfriend or they are hanging here, baking brownies and laughing with us all…love that! Then our 9 yr old son, all BOY, playing football in the backyard with big brother and sliding or making a diving grab and landing on the fall yard, getting all grass stained and muddy knees….coming in with a bloody spot where he has scraped off a wort on his knee….showing me the blood as if it were a trophy wound! yet I can feel just like you….wondering if I couldn’t have done better at times, been happier, less strict, played more board games….yet I am so proud of them…each individuals. My daughter has a saying written in dry marker in her pedestal mirror in her room…..”You were born an original, don’t die a copy,,,,” In awe of her soul as such a young age. From the thoughts of babes!

November 20, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Becky - Ahhh, the bittersweetness of watching your children grow up. Joy mixed with tears…it never goes away. :) Love to you and yours this Thanksgiving, Paige.

November 20, 2012 - 12:16 pm

linda - Ahhhh I know the feeling all too well…..there is indeed no preparation, and then it is upon us :( Bless you and your dear family this thanksgiving. How is madison feeling? I think of her often and have been wondering. I’m hoping that the recital pictures are indicative that she is continuing to heal and that she is feeling better.

November 20, 2012 - 12:18 pm

sheri - I love this post. May be my favorite – I think I say that each time to post – LOL. You rock as a momma and your girls take right after you. Happy Thanksgiving! xoxoxo

November 20, 2012 - 1:19 pm

Kerri - the blessing and most important message from your post today is in the title. “The driveway is full again.” your girls are all with you. four blessings. and symbolically the “driveway” is your heart, your life, your home~I could go on! When I read your words, it is like Jesus speaking directly to me! Love ya! oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!

November 20, 2012 - 1:35 pm

Betsy - The lump in my throat came when I read “I think I was a funner mom, a better mom, when they were wearing smocked dresses and hairbows”. That’s just how I feel…and you blink your eyes…and my oldest daughter turned 17 yesterday!

Thanks for sharing! Happy Thanksgiving!

Betsy

November 20, 2012 - 2:50 pm

Lori H - Amen to the whole post. Happy Thanksgiving, Paige. Enjoy the time with the driveway full again :)

November 20, 2012 - 11:36 pm

LLH Designs - You had me at the title: “my driveway is full again.” I love that for you. ENJOY every single minute of fullness! xoxo!

November 21, 2012 - 9:38 am

Peggy - OH Paige, how I know what you mean! MY baby will be starting high school in what feels like a few short months which is when the eldest will be heading out of state for college. I know I have all boys but I still have the same thoughts…. its such a joy to watch them grow yet it goes so quickly!

November 21, 2012 - 10:52 am

D'Nese - Every post continues to add joy and hope to my tender heart.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

November 21, 2012 - 11:43 am

teresa sheeley - ..and then they finish college…get married and have real jobs..and only come home for a holiday maybe just for a few days because they have to work…**sigh..although it sounds sad you are filled with joy at the same time for all they have accomplished. when they are happy you are filled with happiness…nothing better.

November 21, 2012 - 1:30 pm

Tammie - Paige, I truley could not have read a post and had it say exactly how I feel a today and have felt many days in the past. I love opening up your post to read such great things and see such beautiful photo’s. Of course the photo’s are probably easy to look that way with such Beautiful daughters to photograph. Thanks for the post and I want to wish your family all a very Happy Thanksgiving. (I hope they are all doing better).

November 22, 2012 - 9:40 am

Amy Avery - Happy Thanksgiving Miss Paige! I count you as one of the blessings that I have in my life this year. Although we have never met in person, you and your family have been a wonderful inspiration and source of comfort for me in good and difficult times too. As I read about your family and the life you share I see God present in each and every one of you. That nourishes my soul and I am thankful for the blessing that you give in sharing yourself so freely here in this place of “Simple Thoughts.” As a young girl, my favorite book of all times then and now is “Little Women.” I have read the same copy of that book for many, many years always finding it to be a source of comfort and inspiration no matter how many times I have read it. I think of your blog as being a modern day “Little Women.” Not only do you have a very similar life situation in having four daughters but also you have a very inspirational way of telling life’s story that resonates in all of us. Thank you friend for your words and for your sharing. It has meant so much to me over these past several years that I have visited you here in this place. I wish you and your family a very blessed day on this day of giving thanks!

November 23, 2012 - 5:34 am

louboo - Paige – I love this post! It makes me look forward to those teenage years. I love the expresson that you ride ‘shotgun’ to their experiences. I am glimpsing that – my daughter is 11 and so many of her rites of passage were mine. And as for Anne of Green Gables – a kindred spirit indeed! Lou x

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*