we were wrapping up a date night together, sitting on the stairway beside what we affectionately refer to as the skinny door at my home . just talking.
it was “my” home at the time. the girls & i moved in the year after gregg had passed away. the side stairway led up to the bonus room which was overflowing with barbies & polly pockets. dress up clothes, princess gowns & crowns were on display. a large doll house was filled with madeline and all her french friends. storybooks filled the pink & white pottery barn bookshelf. goldfish crackers & sippy cups were on the kitchen counter. the rooms in our home were all various pastel shades and very girly. my two dogs, a great dane mix & a yellow lab were both girls. my life was a beautiful busy world of all things “little girl”. i drove a mini van. need i say more?
i had known dan for years. that’s a long story for another day. he had been one of gregg’s very best friends, often times sitting with him during the daily rounds of chemo. dan was single. he had never married. he tells me i’m the first girl he ever said ” i love you” to. he was just shy of turning 40.
on this particular evening , the one wrapping up on the stairway, we talked about our future….together. as five. me+3 little girls. we were a package deal.
the conversation went something like this:
” i’m worried i won’t be a good daddy to the girls. are you worried?”
“not at all.”
“there’s not a doubt in my mind. not one. you’ll be perfect.”
“you don’t have any reservations? none?”
i shook my head with as much confidence backing my answer as there were polly pocket pieces strewn all over the bonus room floor. and that my friends, is a lot of polly’s and a lot of confidence.
we married a few months later, easter weekend 1999 in a garden. dan married the girls & i. he took a knee and placed pearl bracelets on each of them, promising them he’d be their daddy & their provider, their protector. forever.
you may think i’m glazing this over or trying to make it all sound story book…but i can honestly say, that single boy, who’d never told another girl he loved them, packed up his “all white” minimal home and moved in to our little world. a world that had pull-ups and toddler beds. he learned all the disney princesses and played barbie’s with the best of ’em. he learned how to fill sippy cups just close enough to the rim so the lid will still fit & not overflow. he learned to tell goodnight stories and kiss away the pain of a “boo-boo”. he never missed a beat. it was the most seamless transition. ever.
14 years later, we’ve survived two miscarriages and a few cancer scares. we had little caroline two springs after our garden wedding. he became the girls ( savannah, madi & emi’s) legal daddy adopting them in june of 2002. we’ve traveled to seaside & sent the first one to college. he’s changed jobs, learned how to buy tampons & pads with confidence. he’s buried both his parents and planned for our retirement.
he’s the kindred spirit i never dared to dream would come. he’s the knight in shining armor i pray each of my four girls is swept away by one day. he loves us and all that came with taking on 4 females. he’s kind, warm,tenderhearted and loyal. he fills up 4 cars with gas every week and never leaves his boxers on the floor. he loves jesus and honestly has loved us like Jesus loved. he’s an earthly representation of our heavenly father. he’s human, yes. but he’s pretty darn close to walking on water.
i can’t imagine doing this life without him.
i didn’t doubt him that night on the side stairway…but 14 years later, he continues to blow me away.
i love you more than yesterday handsome, but not as much as tomorrow….