validation, identity and a pageant







often times we look for, we long for, we need the acceptance “award” ( if you will) from others to define us.  to affirm us.  it’s so easy to fall into the trap of  looking for the validation of our identity to come from those around us.

age 16

has there ever been a time in your life when that validation from others was more profound?


we aren’t a pageant family.  i’m not a stage mom.  the entire concept seems foreign to us.  so when emi asked to compete in the Miss Parkview Pageant at her highschool i had my concerns.  would we find the right gown?  would it cost a small fortune?  would emily be able to keep up with her academic responsibilities and all the things/meetings/obligations expected for the pageant?  would she find a meaningful quote?  would she present well at her interview? ….and the actual evening? i think the moms were more stressed than the girls……would her curl hold?  would she remember her quote?  would she trip on her gown?  would she have fun?…..

in all honesty i didn’t put much if any thought into the ” would she win?” aspect…

until my emily walked out on stage.

i was completely blown away.  my sweet girl was poised. she was confident.  she nailed her quote.  the quote that was connected to who she was.  the quote that gave a glimpse into her heart.  she didn’t trip or fall.

and she took my breath away.

i’ve never seen her more beautiful.

the night before at practice she seemed a little nervous.  a little unsure of herself.  but on saturday night she rose to the occasion and blew me away….and not just because i’m her mama 🙂


emily might not have brought home the crown that evening.  what emily did do was have the courage to walk across a stage, to give a glimpse into who she is, to lay that out before others and truly be judged.  i sure couldn’t do that now, much less at that tender age of 16.


i’m currently in a beth moore bible study at church called “believing god”.  just this very week we talked about believing we are who we are in christ. while it certainly isn’t a beauty contest or a perfection contest our identity is in Him alone.  not a crown.  not a house in a gated community.  not in a size 4 pair of true religion jeans.  not in mothering perfect children making perfect grades.  and certainly not in the validation of a panel of judges.

i’m not trying to spiritualize a simple sweet pageant at our local highschool nor am i trying to patronize my sweet girl.  i know emi and her sweet friends will see this entry and for them i want them to be reminded who they are. where their validation and their identity is given.

sweet girls ephesians 1.3-8 says You are blessed with all the spiritual blessings.  You are chosen.  You are redeemed.  You are completely forgiven.  You are lavished in grace.  He delights in You.  You are adopted.  You are accepted.  You were fearfully and wonderfully made.  You are loved.

and You did amazing saturday evening!!

October 9, 2012 - 7:40 am

Lori H - Breathtaking! And sweet to boot it sounds like.

October 9, 2012 - 7:58 am

Donna - She looks stunning. That may be one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen – and she looks perfect in it.

October 9, 2012 - 10:14 am

linda - Paige, what beautiful, beautiful words and…..what a beautiful, beautiful daughter. Blessings to you.

October 9, 2012 - 10:19 am

Suzanne - But of course,
she was already
a winner, in so
many ways…..

A beautiful memory
for a beautiful girl.
How amazing to lay
your soul out like
that ~ a triumph in

xo Suzanne

October 9, 2012 - 10:19 am

Deborah - What a beautiful princess of God. An absolutely lovely dress.

October 9, 2012 - 11:15 am

Michelle - I love the beauty and authenticity of your posts. Lovely, amazing daughter!

October 9, 2012 - 11:37 am

Andrea - What a beautiful self assured young lady. I see why you are so proud… define herself in front of everyone… determined…and at the young age of 16. Congrats to her …… she will do great things.

October 9, 2012 - 2:09 pm

tiffany day - oh beautiful indeed!

what a wonderful evening to share with your daughter!

I love that we have opportunities to see inside our kids – to see their heart – that we otherwise wouldn’t.

you are the best kind of proud Paige – always and you resonate that!! I so wish I could meet you in person!


October 9, 2012 - 2:30 pm

tara - She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.

I know you were truly proud of who she is.

I’m so glad she finds her identity in who Christ has made her to be.

October 10, 2012 - 8:52 am

Carol Spinski - What a radiant beauty your sweet Emily is~ Just a slice of heaven:)

Blessings, Carol

October 11, 2012 - 2:38 pm

Kim from 3 peanuts - Emi is so beautiful. I adore her and I love what you wrote. She is such a shining example of Christ’s love.

October 11, 2012 - 3:58 pm

jen@thecottagenest - It sounds like it was an amazing experience for her. Life is about more than winning, isn’t it? I think it’s good that we all have opportunities to learn that and she did so while looking beautiful I must say!

October 12, 2012 - 10:04 pm

Tammie - Paige, I have to say that you have one amazing, beautiful but most of all a daughter that you prove to us that you are so so proud of and you have all the right to because she is showing her Mom what an amzing daughter she is and that you have raised her properly. You show daily in your blog what a proud and wonderful mother you are. She is stunning in her photos.